Do you have a friend that is always negative, gossips, or is complaining?
Then it’s time to say goodbye.
As Jim Rohn said: “Some people you can afford to spend a few minutes with, but not a few hours.”
In this article, you will learn 44 easy ways to be a good friend and 25 sure signs of a bad friend and how to walk away from them.
Take responsibility for the friends and acquaintances in your life.
From now on, it’s either hell yes or no.
If someone isn’t sparking the response: “Hell Yes! I want to meet you.” Don’t meet up.
On that note, how can you identify a good friend?
How To Spot Good Friends
Here is a list of characteristics you want to look out for that makes somebody or even you a good friend.
A good friend is someone that:
- Makes time for you.
- Treats others respectfully.
- Has integrity. They do what they say they are going to do and keep their word.
- Understands that people fuck up sometimes.
- Goes out of their way to talk to the person who is left out of the conversation, especially if that person is new.
- Tells you your flaws with a kind heart.
- Returns money or things they borrowed without being asked to.
- Displays random acts of kindness with no expectations of getting anything in return.
- Treats everyone equally. Regardless of their job, status, or skin color.
- Is okay being wrong and willing to admit that.
- Keeps their commitments.
- Respects your boundaries and space. They don’t push you to do things that you’re not comfortable doing.
- Doesn’t compare you to other people.
- Does something good without expecting recognition.
- Sticks up for other people.
- Holds a door open for you or thanks you when you do it for them.
- Supports you in your long-term goals.
- Listens to you without disrupting you.
- Asks you what you wanted to say after you got interrupted.
- Doesn’t share your viewpoint but still tries to understand and discuss it with logic and reason.
- Throws their stuff in the garbage can instead of throwing it on the ground even if the next garbage can is at their home.
- Picks other people’s garbage up as they’re walking to clean up the environment.
- Is okay hearing “No.”
- Asks you follow-up questions instead of changing the subject to themselves immediately after you are finished talking.
- Is there for you when you need them.
- Remembers what you talked about in the past and comes back to it.
- Is polite to waiters and service workers.
- Accepts you for who you are, not what you could be.
- Treats kids and animals nicely.
- Looks for things you have in common instead of the opposite.
- Returns their shopping cart.
- Puts their chair back where it belongs.
- Does the right thing even if nobody is watching.
- Calls you out on your bullshit.
- Can laugh about themselves.
- Is okay with silence.
- Admits when they were wrong and apologizes for it.
- Does things in the interest of the group and not themselves.
- Takes criticism in stride and learns from mistakes.
- Responds to significant events in your life.
- Tells you the truth, but not in a way that hurts you.
- Pays attention to both the big and small details you’ve shared with him.
- Never makes you feel embarrassed when you’re with them.
- Has the ability to review and criticize oneself.
Surround yourself with people that lift you up instead of put you down.
Surround Yourself With Positive People
Surround yourself with people that inspire you to be better.
Get to know people that cheer for you and that support your dreams. And get rid of everybody that drags you down or insults you, especially if it’s a long-time friend or family member.
Because an enemy that is insulting you or that is trying to sabotage you is one thing. You expect that from an enemy, and hopefully, you are prepared and know what you need to do against them and their attacks.
But it’s an entirely different thing if people that should support you turn their back on you. If somebody that is supposed to be your friend is sabotaging you. And that can start with a little offhand remark in front of other people.
You May Ask: “Why Are They More Dangerous?”
Because you will be ill-prepared and might not even notice their attacks. Because they are your friends, and you expect them to have your back instead of ripping your throat out.
You expect them to have your best interests at heart, and that’s why it might take you a long time to realize that they don’t have your best interests at heart! That they are full of jealousy, envy and try to bring you down, even if it’s an unconscious act on their behalf.
Don’t get paranoid. There are a lot of beautiful, positive, and supportive people out there. And hopefully, you and all your friends are part of that group.
But examine your friends. Do all your friends deserve a spot in your life? Or is it time to let some go? So you can make room for new people? Or so that you can make more room for the good friends you already have and spend more time with them to deepen your bonds.
Also, look at yourself!
Are You A Good Friend?
Are you positive and supportive? Do you do all that you can to make your life and the lives of your friends better?
Look in the mirror!
Would you wish yourself as a friend?
If you had to be friends with yourself, what would you improve or change?
Also, look at how you talk to yourself. Do you talk like a good or a bad friend to yourself?
How To Spot Bad Friends?
So, what makes one a bad friend?
Here is a list of characteristics that makes somebody or even you a bad friend.
A bad friend is someone that:
- Has never time for you.
- Has only time for you when they are single.
- Is only there for you in the good times.
- Talks bad about you.
- Talks bad about other people.
- Lies to you.
- Lets you feel small.
- Lets you feel like garbage.
- Is fat-shaming you.
- Encourages you to make bad choices.
- Act’s like you are their private bank.
- Prevents you from having fun and is full of negativity.
- Tells everybody your deepest secrets that you only shared with them.
- Doesn’t like to see you happy.
- Sabotages you.
- Steals from you.
- Judges you for your choices regularly.
- Doesn’t support you and your goals.
- Only uses you as a shoulder to cry on but never listens to your advice.
- Tries to steal your spouse behind your back.
- Invents stories about you behind your back to make you look bad.
- Doesn’t have your back when it counts.
- Never asks you how you are doing.
- Makes everything about themselves.
- Gets mad at you for doing things they do all the time.
This isn’t an exclusive list, nor is somebody a lousy friend only because one of these characteristics might fit.
We evolve.
I know I haven’t been the best friend when I was younger, but I learned to be a better friend and try my best not to indulge in one of the behaviors.
Also, don’t be a dick if somebody goes through a hard time. Be there for them, especially when it gets hard. These are the times that count.
Use these times as an opportunity to grow. To grow as a friend and person.
But also set your boundaries if you get overwhelmed. Nobody wins if you get dragged down. Try to lift each other up.
Learn to walk away and say “No!”
Concentrate on you and your mission. Don’t let anybody tell you what you can or cannot do.
Make a list of all your friends and ask yourself: The last three times I met this friend: Was I happy or glad that I met him? Or did it drain me?
Also, make a list of all your social obligations and ask yourself: Do these social events help me get where I want to be? Or is it time to say goodbye to focus on what’s truly important?!
The People You Spend Your Time With Will Shape Your Life.
As Les Brown said: “If you run around with losers, you will end up a loser… unconsciously!”
If you want a different life, you need to change your environment.
Spend time with people that genuinely make you happy. Call your dad or a friend that is always there for you. Or call someone that you didn’t see for a long time. And talk to them right now.
Tell them how much they mean to you and arrange plans to see each other. Because it’s the people in our lives, not the things, that matter the most.
Take responsibility for your social life now!
Be a better friend and let go of your bad friends! Do it for you and everybody that is connected to you.
Take action to improve your life now.
Action Steps:
- Make a list of all your friends that drain your energy. Limit the time you spend with them.
- Make a list of all your social obligations. Let go of the unnecessary ones to make room for what’s truly important.
- Make a list of 10 people who could change your life if you would know them or be friends with them. Also, create a plan to meet them.
- Don’t just create these lists. Act upon them.
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